From comedian Steven Wright
Today’s Friday so here’s the best of the emailed jokes we’ve seen this week!
I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize;
Half the people you know are below average.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
I intend to live forever…. so far, so good.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread
If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?