What NOT To Give Her For Valentine’s Day
1. A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an attempt to hide the fact you ate all the caramel ones.
2. Any food item with the words “diet”, “light”, or “high fibre” on the label.
3. Any video starring Sylvester Stallone or Jim Carrey.
4. Any household appliance, power tool or other item from Bunnings.
5. A gift certificate.
7. Anything you could have bought at the service station mini-mart on the way over, even if you didn’t.
8. An apologetic look and the words “That was today?”