From Steven Wright (the deadpan comic)
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
How did a fool and his money get together?
What’s another word for thesaurus?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back.
Half the people you know are below average.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
And whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S” in it?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?