just for fun!

Some help interpreting real estate ads:

Needs TLC = major structural damage; Convenient = located on freeway entrance ramp; Completely renovated = toilets now flush; Sophisticated city living = next to a noisy strip club; Bachelor pad = red velvet wallpaper & smells bad; Street appeal = only the front of the house is painted; Tenant wants to stay = evicting tenant is your problem; Close to cafes = impossible to park on the street on weekends and evenings; Wide-open floor plan = previous owner removed supporting walls; Move right in = has been unoccupied for 5 years, except for squatters, vandals and bats; Security system = neighbour has loud dog; Light open spaces = many holes in walls; Walk to shopping and schools = no bus service.